So this morning I was scrolling through an art app when this royal portrait popped up – King Louis XIV looking all fancy in his red heels. Got me thinking, bet there's wild stuff hiding behind these fancy poses.
Dusty Books & Weird Details
Dug out my grandma's old art encyclopedia first. Heavy thing almost smashed my toe! Found the painting - "Louis XIV" by Hyacinthe Rigaud. Zoomed in and noticed his left heel lifting like he's mid-dance move. Weird for a serious king portrait right?
Started cross-checking with history blogs. Turns out homeboy had chronic leg abscesses that stank so bad court docs mentioned it. Painful stuff but he's out here striking ballet poses! Showed my neighbor Mrs. Chen who just said "men will suffer for fashion huh?"
Mirror Lies & Propaganda Tricks
Got obsessed with that giant curtain backdrop. Spent hours squinting at blurry digital copies. Realized the mirror reflection makes him look taller - sneaky illusion! Researched royal artists' diaries online (so many dead French words ugh).
Found the receipts:
- They used special scaffolding to shoot angles like paparazzi
- Added invisible leg padding in the fabric
- Mirror placement hid his actual walking cane behind it
The propaganda game was STRONG. Kings basically ran OG Instagram filters before electricity existed.
Red Heels Truth Bomb
Almost quit when I hit conflicting sources about those shiny red shoes. One book said "power symbol" but museum archives showed they became fashionable AFTER this painting because peasants started copying him!
My eureka moment came matching shoe close-ups with royal expense records. Dude spent more on one pair than his servants made in a year. Painting basically flexed his exclusive shoe rights like modern hypebeasts with limited Jordans.
What I Learned
Finished up comparing his other portraits like some art detective. Every single one hid something:
- Jewel boxes covering war debt reports
- Wig curls positioned over battle wounds
- Always painted facing left to hide his bad eye
These "boring" royal paintings are basically history's juiciest tabloids once you learn how to read 'em. Next project? Figuring out why medieval cats look so derpy in manuscripts!
