Okay, let me walk you through how I actually tried this "Being and Being" thing myself. Saw the term floating around everywhere – podcasts, fancy quotes, even on a coffee mug. Sounded deep. Figured it was time to see what the fuss was about.
My Starting Point: Utter Confusion
First, I sat down on my stupidly uncomfortable meditation cushion, thinking "Alright, time to... be?". Honestly? Felt like a complete idiot. My mind immediately went:
- "Did I pay the electric bill?"
- "That meeting tomorrow is gonna suck."
- "I need better cushions."
Point being, total disaster. Got frustrated after maybe two minutes.
Turning Down the Noise (Mostly Failing)
Realized I needed a simpler way in. Started with basic stuff everyone says:
- Closed my eyes, tried just feeling my butt on the cushion. Cold floor underneath. Weird.
- Then tried listening to my own breathing. It sounded loud and ragged. Felt self-conscious even though I was alone.
Kept this up for maybe a week, five minutes tops each morning. Mostly, it just highlighted how noisy and restless my head is constantly. Progress? Zero. Felt kinda like sitting still was making the internal chaos louder.
The Weird Moment That Sorta Clicked
Big break happened while I was doing dishes, of all things. Wasn't even trying. Just scrubbing a pan, water warm on my hands, clinking sounds.
Suddenly noticed:
- The texture of soap bubbles sliding on metal.
- The exact temperature of the water shifting.
- That my shoulders were clenched tight like a vise.
For maybe 30 seconds? I wasn't worrying about future bills or past regrets. I was just right there, senses fully dialed into the sink. Not "deep wisdom," just pure, simple, soaking-wet presence. And then? Boom – jumped to thinking about wet socks. Back to normal. But that tiny moment? Felt real.
What I'm Actually Doing Now (Super Basic)
Stopped calling it "Being and Being" because honestly, the jargon annoys me. Now it's just:
- When waiting for the microwave ding, I actually lean against the counter and stare out the window. Just see shapes, colors. Don’t narrate.
- Drinking coffee? I try to taste just the first sip – hot, bitter, smell the beans – before my brain starts planning the day.
- Feel anxious? I stomp my feet hard on the floor a couple times. Sounds dumb, but feeling the solid ground helps.
That’s it. It’s not enlightenment. It’s messy and brief and mostly feels like practicing noticing when I’ve wandered off. Sometimes I forget for days. But those tiny anchors – the sink, the coffee, the cold floor underfoot – they’re starting to feel like little moments of actually being here. Just… less noisy for a heartbeat. Way less fancy than I thought it would be. Mostly just… stopping.
