So I decided to dig into Renaissance painters after seeing some fancy art memes online. Started simple - just googled "top painters old times Italy" expecting quick answers. Man, was I wrong! Every website showed different lists with weird painter names I couldn't even pronounce properly.
My Sorting Mess Method
I made sticky notes for each painter - Leonardo, Michelangelo, that Raphael dude, plus some others like Botticelli and Titian. Piled them on my kitchen table trying to sort them by importance. Ended up knocking over my coffee cup and staining Raphael's note brown. Felt kinda poetic honestly - like adding history's touch.
The Live Test Phase
Wanted to see real art without flying to Europe. Found free virtual museum tours but kept clicking wrong links ending up on pizza recipe sites instead. Finally saw Leonardo's Last Supper - looked more like yellow smudges than a masterpiece on my crappy laptop screen. Zoomed into Judas's face until it became pixel soup.
Surprise Winner Emerges
While researching Michelangelo, found out he totally lied on his resume about sculpture experience before getting the Sistine Chapel job. That dude just winged it with paint! Made me love his messy hustle energy most. My personal ranking became:
- Michelangelo - ultimate fake-it-till-you-make-it king
- Leonardo - cool inventions but way too slow painting
- Raphael - nice but feels like painter version of elevator music
The Social Media Disaster
Tried sharing my rankings in Facebook art groups. Got 50 comments screaming "WHERE'S TITIAN?!!" within an hour. Deleted the post when some angry grandma threatened to mail me rotten tomatoes. Learned that art people take 500-year-old painters way too personally.
Current Practice Status
Now I have Michelangelo prints taped around my bathroom mirror. Still can't spell Renaissance correctly without spellcheck. Tried sketching like them but my people look like potatoes with limbs. At least my coffee stains are getting more artistic.
