Alright, so this whole "weird patron saints" thing, it wasn't some grand spiritual journey for me, not at all. It actually started out of pure, unadulterated frustration. I’m talking about those little, everyday annoyances that just pile up until you want to scream into a pillow.
For me, it was my Wi-Fi. It just kept dropping. Always at the worst possible moment, you know? Trying to pay a bill online? Poof. Halfway through a good video? Gone. I was muttering to myself, something like, "I swear, I need a patron saint for terrible internet connections." And then, a little lightbulb went off. Or maybe it was just a flicker from the faulty router, who knows.
Digging into the Weirdness
So, what did I do? I grabbed my phone (using cellular data, obviously) and just started searching. My first search was probably something dumb like "patron saint of bad Wi-Fi." Didn't get much there, as you can imagine. But it led me down a path. I started looking up lists of actual patron saints, and then more obscure ones, and then I stumbled upon articles and forum posts where people were talking about, well, weird patron saints. Some were historical figures assigned to odd things, others were more modern, tongue-in-cheek inventions.
I spent a good hour or two just clicking around. It was fascinating, in a really bizarre way. I found out Saint Isidore of Seville is apparently the patron saint of the internet and computer users. Close, but no cigar for my specific Wi-Fi woes. Then there was Saint Drogo, patron saint of coffee houses, and also, rather unfortunately, of unattractive people and those afflicted with hernias. Talk about a mixed bag.
My "practice" became this: when something small and annoying happened, I'd try to find a fitting, obscure, or downright silly "patron saint" for it.
- Stubbed my toe? Started looking for the patron saint of clumsiness.
- Misplaced my keys (again)? Definitely needed a saint for that. Found Saint Anthony, but he's too mainstream; I wanted weird.
- That one squeaky floorboard that always wakes the dog? Yeah, I looked.
I even started jotting down a few of the more amusing ones I came across, or ones I sort of made up in my head if I couldn't find a "real" weird one. For instance, I unofficially nominated Saint Glitch-be-Gone for my router. Spoiler: it didn't magically fix the connection. I still had to call the damn internet company and go through an hour of them telling me to turn it off and on again.
So, What Was the Point?
Honestly, did I expect divine intervention for my flickering internet or my lost car keys? Nah. Not really. But the whole process was… distracting. And kind of funny. It was a way to take these little daily irritations and turn them into a bit of a quirky research project. It made me chuckle, which is more than my internet provider ever did.
It didn't solve any of my problems, not in a practical sense. My Wi-Fi still acts up sometimes. But it did give me a new, slightly absurd way to frame those annoyances. Instead of just getting mad, I'd think, "Okay, time to consult the archives for the patron saint of burnt toast." It’s a bit like talking to a rubber duck. You know it's not going to talk back, but sometimes, just the act of articulating the problem, even to an imaginary saint of lost socks, makes it feel a tiny bit more manageable. Or at least, a little less infuriating. So, yeah, that was my weird patron saint phase. Still keep an eye out for a good one for telemarketers, though.
