So last Tuesday I was scrolling through TikTok, right? Saw this clip where some dude joked about microwaving his phone to disinfect it, and boom – flashed to Ivan the Terrible's torture methods. Yeah, random. Decided I had to dig deeper into how that maniac actually ran things.
Starting Point: The Wikipedia Rabbit Hole
Cracked open my laptop around 9 PM. First stop? Obviously Wikipedia. Typed "Ivan IV Russia". The page felt drier than month-old bread. Saw mentions of the Oprichnina – sounded like some secret police stuff. Googled that exact term, falling straight into ten open tabs about guys riding horses with broom and dog heads. Total insanity.
Expert Hunting (Sort Of)
Next morning, hustled to the library. Wanted actual books written by historians who've studied this stuff. Snagged:
- Some thick biography smelling like dust and old paper
- A book focused only on his "political reforms" (read: ways to crush people)
- This slim volume just about executions during his rule. Grim.
Skimmed chapters during lunch. Kept reading about boiling people alive or impaling entire families for disloyalty. Felt kind of nauseous eating my salad.
Deep Dive Into Control Tactics
Sat at my kitchen table Sunday afternoon, books spread everywhere. Coffee going cold. Here’s the brutal play-by-play I pieced together:
- Created his own personal death squad (the Oprichniki). Handpicked psychopaths loyal only to him. Gave them black uniforms and creepy symbols.
- Took half the country for himself. Called it the Oprichnina zone. Kicked out the nobles, gave land to his goons.
- Used paranoia as policy. Anyone whispering? Gone. Whole city suspected? He marched on Novgorod, slaughtered thousands in weeks.
- Regularly purged his OWN allies. Executed his best general, the guy who won him major territory. Killed his son-in-law too. Lost it near the end, even killed his own son during an argument.
The Ugly Reality Check
Reading those accounts felt like watching a horror movie, only real. Experts stressed this: fear wasn't just a side effect; it was Ivan’s main governing tool. He deliberately shattered the nobles' power, destroyed entire cities to terrify others, and ruled through terror by giving absolute power to his personal militia. The Russian state grew larger, yeah, but built on rivers of blood and constant, suffocating fear. Made me realize how thin the veneer of civilization really is when someone has unchecked power and a vicious streak.
Finished the books Thursday night. Had trouble sleeping. Couldn't shake the image of Ivan writing angry letters demanding more brutal execution methods. History isn't always nice, but man, this was raw, brutal madness posing as statecraft. Next time someone jokes about being a 'harsh boss', I'm sending them the Novgorod casualty figures.
