So you want to buy a Gainsborough painting? Yeah, me too. Thought it’d be fancy hanging old-timey rich people in ruffles above my Ikea sofa. Here’s how my disaster-turned-success journey went down.
Started Clueless
First I googled "buy Gainsborough cheap" like a dummy. Got flooded with crappy prints and scammy websites. Nearly bought some "authentic replica" for $99 until my buddy Dave asked if Thomas Gainsborough painted on cardboard. Felt dumb.
The Auction House Shuffle
Visited fancy auction houses in person. Wore my least holey jeans. Sales guys smelled blood – showed me paintings costing more than my house. Learned quick: real Gainsborough needs six figures minimum. Left with free champagne and crushing reality.
Authentication Nightmares
Found this cute landscape at a small gallery. Owner swore it was "Gainsborough school." Paid $20k deposit before actual experts laughed at me. Got refund after threatening to park my rusty Civic outside daily.
- Lesson 1: Demand paperwork tracing back to the 1700s
- Lesson 2: Sleep on it before swiping any cards
Finally Scoring
After months, connected with a grandma selling her dead husband’s "ugly old portrait." Turned out to be a real Gainsborough sketch – verified by three grumpy London experts. Negotiated while pretending to hate it. Got it for half her asking price by moaning about framing costs.
What Works For Beginners
- Attend free "beginners" nights at auction houses (free wine!)
- Make friends with gallery assistants – they know gossip
- Assume everything’s fake until 17 documents prove otherwise
- Save up – even tiny sketches cost Ferrari money
Now my sketch hangs crooked over the sofa. Worth every panic attack. You’ll mostly find disappointment… but maybe you’ll get lucky like my cheap ass did.
