Alright, so you wanna know about this Homunculus Jesus thing? Yeah, sounded totally crazy to me too. But folks kept asking, and honestly, I just had to try it myself, see what the fuss was about. Here’s exactly what went down, step by messy step.
Step 1: Yeah, I Dug Into It (Sorta)
First off, I hit the web hard. Searched forums, watched a few shaky YouTube vids. Most stuff looked like gibberish or pure spooky fantasy land. Felt like I was chasing ghosts online. Didn’t find a clear "Homunculus Jesus" blueprint anywhere – surprise! Mostly just cryptic symbols and people arguing.
Step 2: The Shopping Trip
Figured I needed stuff, right? Like herbs and bottles. Grabbed:
- An old egg (fresh ones felt wrong)
- A big jar from the basement
- Some salt (lots of recipes mention it)
- Vinegar, weird herbs from that dusty shop downtown
- Distilled water (tap water seemed too normal)
Spent like twenty bucks total. Felt kinda stupid holding this junk.
Step 3: Setting Up My “Lab”
Cleared off the kitchen table. Wiped it down extra clean – felt like it needed to be "pure". Laid everything out: jar, egg, salt pile, herbs, vinegar, water. Put my phone away to "focus". Honestly, just felt weird standing there.
Step 4: The Mixing Mess
Okay, time to get messy. Cracked the egg into the jar. Yolk splattered everywhere – not magical. Poured in some vinegar (made that egg foam like crazy!), dumped in a heap of salt, threw in a pinch of the weird herbs, topped it off with water. Stirred it all with a spoon. Looked like disgusting egg drop soup. Smelled worse.
Step 5: The “Incubation” Phase
Sealed the jar tight. Stuck it in the darkest corner of my closet. Folks online said "infuse with your spirit" or something? Yeah right. I basically sat there for a few minutes trying to "will" something to happen. Felt like a complete idiot. Said the name "Homunculus Jesus" out loud a couple times. Echoed in the closet. Silly.
Step 6: Waiting (And Sniffing)
Left it alone for a whole week. Checked on it once a day like a crazy person. First day: gross bubbles. Second day: cloudy water. Third day: started separating into layers. Fourth day: greenish tinge on top? Smelled rotten. Kept checking anyway, hoping for… what? Tiny Jesus arms? Nothin’. Just looked and smelled more disgusting.
Step 7: The Sad Ending
After a week, the stink got real bad. Wife complained. Yeah, that jar was a biohazard. Took it out, gagged. Carried it carefully outside wearing dish gloves. Poured the whole revolting mess down the drain. Felt relieved it was gone.
So, What Happened?
Exactly what I expected: jack squat. No tiny deity. No magic spark. Just science – rotten egg plus water and vinegar turns into a smelly disaster. Spent time, cash, and felt dumb. Maybe some folks take it dead serious, but me? Learned my lesson: some rabbit holes ain't worth jumpin' down. Stick to gardening.
