Alright folks, today I tried making an ancient Greece map from scratch since my kid's obsessed with mythology. Figured I'd document the whole messy process for you beginners.
Gathering Supplies Like a Squirrel
First I dumped my junk drawer hunting for materials. Grabbed some thick paper, regular pencils, colored ones, and a beaten-up eraser. Couldn't find my ruler so I used a cookbook instead - gotta improvise!
Tracing That Funky Shoreline
Opened a book showing Greece's shape and thought "yikes that coastline's wiggly". Started sketching with super light pencil strokes. Messed up the Peloponnese peninsula three times before getting something that looked like a chicken leg instead of a blob.
- Drew a bumpy curve for the northern coast
- Made those famous gulfs near Athens extra deep
- Added Crete down south like a squished cigar
Sticking Islands Everywhere
This part made me sweat! Scattered dots for islands like I was sprinkling pepper. Made Rhodes way too big initially - looked like a hippo lying in the sea. Erased and redid it five times.
Mountain time! Jagged triangles along the mainland spine. Shaded with grey pencil till it looked properly rocky. For water I just scribbled wavy lines like a kindergartener - surprisingly worked!
Going Picasso With Colors
Dug out crappy crayons because my good markers dried up. Slathered brown on mountains till the paper almost tore. Water got that ugly blue-green from mixing wrong colors. Used red dots for city locations but Sparta's dot bled into a weird stain.
Labeled everything in my terrible handwriting:
- Choked Athens letters together like sardines
- Misspelled "Thebes" twice before giving up
- Made "Mediterranean Sea" float near Egypt by accident
My Glorious Disaster
Spilled tea on it during final touches - perfect authentic ancient effect! Held it up proudly: crooked labels, Crete shaped like Australia, and weird tea stains. Kid took one look and asked "Is that a pirate map?"
Truth is my map looks nothing like the book. But following these dumb steps gave me something that kinda resembles Greece if you squint. Totally doing it again next weekend - maybe add glitter volcanoes this time!
