Was staring at my blank screen this morning thinking "how the heck do people actually 'get' Michelangelo's religious paintings?" You see those massive figures in Bible scenes and you're like... okay it's art history but how do I connect to this stuff? Grabbed my coffee and just started digging.
Starting totally blind
First mistake: I opened Wikipedia and read that big "Creation of Adam" explanation. Big waste of time. Felt like reading an instruction manual for a spaceship. Technical terms everywhere - fresco this, High Renaissance that. My brain shut off after two sentences. Threw my notebook across the couch. Nope.
Got up and found some super basic art book my niece left here. Had cartoon versions of the Sistine Chapel ceiling. That clicked. Realized I needed baby steps:
- Stop caring about symbolism first
- Just look at HOW he drew bodies
- See how Adam & God mirror each other
- Notice God's crew all tangled up together
The big "aha" moment
Got frustrated when trying to "decode" scenes. Was reading some dry analysis online about the Deluge panel - stuff like "representing divine wrath" blah blah. Scrolled too far down the page and saw some random comment: "Dude it's just Noah's family hugging while everyone drowns." Oh. My. God.
Suddenly flipped my whole approach:
- Stopped treating it like homework
- Started imagining being IN each painting
- Noticed the panic in peoples' eyes during disasters
- Saw how tired Adam looks reaching for God's finger
Last night I told my neighbor Tom about this. He said "wait, God's flying in a brain-shaped cape?" We laughed for five minutes straight. That's when it hit me: Michelangelo didn't paint church brochures. He painted sweaty, terrified, real people facing the cosmic unknown.
Still don't know squat about quattrocento techniques. But now when I see photos of those frescoes? I see the man falling off his horse in the battle scenes. I see exhausted prophets slouching on marble thrones. Best part? No art degree required.
