My Frustrating Morning Routine
Honestly felt kinda stuck last month. Every morning was the same crap: hit snooze a million times, scramble outta bed already stressed, chug coffee like my life depended on it, and rush to work feeling totally unprepared. Felt like I wasn't running my life; my life was running me over. Kept telling myself I had to change, but never actually did anything about it. You know the feeling? Just going through the motions.
Stumbling on "Know Thyself"
Then one Tuesday afternoon, scrolling through old notes on my phone like a total weirdo, I found something I wrote ages ago: Temet Nosce. Sounded fancy, right? Googled it – just means "Know Thyself." Supposedly some ancient Greek wisdom carved on a temple. Got me thinking: how can I run my life better if I don't even know myself properly?
Deciding to Give It a Real Shot
Sitting there with lukewarm coffee, I got annoyed enough to actually try it. Not just think about it. Do it. Made a simple plan:
- Observe like a creepy stalker: But just stalk myself. Pay attention to everything – thoughts, feelings, actions – especially those automatic ones.
- Write down the ugly stuff: No sugar-coating. What am I really doing? What's actually going on in this messy head of mine?
- Find the stupid patterns: What dumb things do I keep doing over and over that screw me up?
- Try small fixes: Based on what I find, change one tiny thing and see what happens.
The Nitty-Gritty Journaling Phase (It Was Awkward)
Started carrying this beat-up notebook everywhere. Seriously. For three whole days, I forced myself to stop and scribble notes:
- Morning: Wanted to quit? Immediately made excuses? How loud was that internal whining?
- Work: When did I get distracted? What triggered procrastination? (Hint: Usually checking my phone)
- Evening: Did I relax like I planned, or just numb out scrolling? Felt drained or satisfied?
The hardest part? Wrote down what I really felt, not what I wished I felt. Admitting "Felt like hiding under the desk" instead of "Challenged but focused" felt super lame.
The "Oh Crap" Realizations
After three days of scribbling like a mad scientist reviewing my own notes, some painfully obvious junk surfaced:
- My Morning Enemy: It wasn't "just tired" – I absolutely dreaded planning my day. Like, physical dread. That "ugh" feeling made hitting snooze super appealing.
- Procrastination Trigger: Any slightly complex email? My brain went "NOPE!" and instantly jumped to checking nonsense websites. Total autopilot escape.
- False Relaxation: Thought scrolling was relaxing, but the notes clearly showed I felt more restless afterward, like I'd wasted time.
- Brutal Self-Talk: Caught myself constantly saying stuff like "You're gonna mess this up" in my head. Who the hell hired that inner critic?
Couldn't unsee this stuff once it was written down. Felt kinda naked in front of my own notebook.
Super Tiny Action Time (No Heroics)
Knowing all that depressing stuff, I couldn't overhaul everything. Decided to tackle only the morning dread:
- Move planning: Instead of forcing myself to plan first thing (which I hated), I just wrote down ONE important task while gulping my coffee. One. Thing.
- The "No Guilt" Rule: If I only did that ONE thing? Fine. Success. Anything extra was bonus points. Stopped yelling at myself if it wasn't all perfect.
What Actually Happened (Surprise!)
Been doing this stupidly simple plan for two weeks now.
- Way less mental fight in the AM. Didn't magically become a morning person, but the dread is gone because the pressure's off.
- Weirdly, hitting that ONE task almost always leads me to do more. Like I tricked myself.
- Still suck at emails sometimes. Still scroll too much. BUT! I see myself doing it now. That alone stops the autopilot sometimes.
Biggest takeaway? Knowing myself – really seeing those hidden triggers and defenses – didn't fix everything overnight. BUT it gave me a real place to start, instead of just flailing around complaining. I actually changed something because I understood why I was stuck. That "Know Thyself" stuff? It's not about being perfect. It's about knowing where to poke.
