My Dumb Finger Obsession Began
So last Tuesday, I was doodling on my iPad Pro when my eyes landed on that Michelangelo poster I've had since college - the one where God's finger almost touches Adam's. Was staring at those fingertips like a total creep when it hit me: Could I actually paint that? Grabbed my old acrylics from the garage, dust flying everywhere.
Tried tracing the damn thing first. Just laid printer paper over the glossy poster and went at it with a charcoal pencil. BIG mistake. Looked like a preschooler drew ET's finger after three juice boxes. Ruined three canvases already. My "perfect outline" looked like a warped hot dog. Threw the charcoal stick against the wall - left a nice mark there, actually.
The Finger Grind
Switched tactics Wednesday morning. Set up my phone on a coffee mug tripod hitting record:
- First attempt: Held my own hand against the canvas. Painted around it like a kindergarten turkey tracing. Smudged everywhere. Looked like I dipped my hand in purple paint.
- Second attempt: Tried that "sighting" method art TikTokers love. Holding my brush at arm's length like a moron measuring finger joints.
- Third attempt: Straight up gridded the poster with a Sharpie. Like I'm back in middle school art class again. Divided the canvas into little boxes and went square by square.
Color Chaos
Thursday was paint mixing hell. The "godly glow" tones were impossible. First batch came out like Pepto-Bismol pink. Added some burnt sienna - now it looked like rust. Threw in white until it looked like cement mix. Finally dumped half my cadmium yellow light in desperation. Boom - suddenly had this warm creamy glow that actually matched Michelangelo's vibe. Slapped that mixture onto an old pizza box to save it.
The Finger Breakthrough
Friday 2 AM. Half a cold coffee sitting there. Ignored the grid lines completely and just painted like I was sculpting. Used this tiny rigger brush like a chisel. Kept building up thin layers - shadows underneath where knuckles dip, highlights right where the light would catch Adam's limp finger. The veins? Just hinted at 'em with a watery crimson streak. Magic happened when I stopped overthinking. That space between the fingers? Left it almost blank - just raw canvas showing through.
Five Ugly Truths I Learned
- God's fingernail needs grime under it or it looks fake. Added a tiny shadow underneath with payne's grey.
- Fingertip wrinkles ain't lines - they're shadows pooling in creases. Dabbed diluted paint sideways.
- Adam's finger isn't lazy - it's heavy. Slapped thick paint like pancake batter to make it look weighty.
- That space between fingers? Michelangelo didn't outline shit. The fingers just stop and your brain fills the gap. Mind blown.
- Glow ain't about brightness - it's about contrast. Made the background behind God's hand way darker than I thought it should be. Looked terrible until the last second when it suddenly popped.
Final kicker? Took 16 hours to paint two fingers. Covered my favorite sweatpants in payne's grey. Wife asked if I was painting ET phone home. But staring at that tiny gap between fingertips now? Yeah. That's the juice. Might paint toenails next week.
