People kept askin' me if I got all them presidential dollar coins. So last Tuesday, I grabbed my empty coin album and drove straight to the main bank downtown. Figured banks gotta have money, right?
The hunt begins
Walked up to the teller like I knew what I was doin'. "Need presidential dollar coins," I said, slapin' my empty binder on the counter. "All of 'em if ya got 'em."
Teller just blinked slow. "Mister, nobody orders those special dollars much anymore. We got... let's check..." She digs around for five solid minutes. Comes back with three flimsy rolls of coins. Unrolled 'em right there. Mostly dead presidents I already had – Washington, Adams, Jefferson. Not one newer than Quincy Adams.
- Washington: 2 coins
- Adams: 3 coins
- Jefferson: 1 coin all scratched up
- Madison: None
- Monroe: None
Plan B: Raiding every bank in town
Started hittin' every bank branch within 10 miles. Became my weird part-time job all week. Drive over during lunch breaks. Felt like a crazy person askin' tellers for "president dollars" over and over. Some were nice, some acted like I asked for gold bricks.
Scored a busted roll at First National with Van Buren inside. Felt like winnin' the lottery! But then reality kicked in – no Tyler, no Polk, no Taylor. Got absolutely zero coins minted after 2008 at any location. Bank manager shrugged: "People cash 'em in random, we don't order special."
Digging through my own junk
Gave up on banks Friday night. Dumped out my whole "junk drawer" onto the kitchen table. Old batteries, takeout menus, loose screws. Found 67 cents in regular change... and one Abraham Lincoln dollar coin covered in dust. At least Abe looked okay. Washed him with dish soap. Made his beard shine kinda nice.
Still missing way too many:
- All the 20th century guys like Teddy Roosevelt
- Modern ones like Reagan and Bush Sr.
- That weird William Henry Harrison dude nobody remembers
Truth bomb moment
Called up Gary – he collects stamps mostly. Laughed his head off when I said "presidential dollar set". "You ain't findin' those circulatin' now," he wheezed. "Shoulda been hoardin' 'em when they first came out!"
Realized my binders gonna stay half empty. Saw some replacement coins online, but shipping cost more than the coins! Told myself maybe gaps are part of the charm. Or maybe that's just what losers like me say. Still feels kinda special havin' ol' George Washington next to Abe Lincoln in my book.
