Alright folks, gather 'round. Today I'm spilling the beans on my deep dive into those seven alchemy steps everyone keeps whispering about. Seriously, how hard can turning lead into gold really be? Figured I should start with the basics before I blow anything up in my shed.
First off, I was staring at my screen wondering what the heck 'calcination' even means. Sounded like something you do to bones. Jumped headfirst down the Wikipedia rabbit hole – massive mistake. Way too many fancy words. Ended up picturing it like throwing crap into a fire pit. You know, burning away useless junk in your life? Decided my 'useless junk' for practice was a pile of dusty old magazines cluttering the corner. Lit 'em up safely in the garden fire pit. Felt pretty cathartic, actually. Ash flying around... messy business.
The Wild Water Ride
Next came 'dissolution'. This one felt slippery. Thought about just chucking some ash into my morning coffee. Figured that wouldn't end well. Instead, grabbed a jar, filled it with water, and dumped the leftover calcination ashes in. Shook it like crazy. Man, did that make a nasty brown soup! Not dissolving like sugar, more like mud swirling in a puddle. Sat there swirling it, feeling a bit stupid. Realized it's about breaking stuff down further, getting past that initial burn. My jar of murky water sat on the shed windowsill for days. Neighbors probably think I'm nuts.
'Separation' had me scratching my head. How do you separate mush? Tried pouring my disgusting jar-water through a coffee filter. Sludge in the filter, slightly less gross water underneath. Felt like cheating. What exactly am I separating here? Light bulb moment: maybe it’s about pulling out what’s actually valuable? Fished around in the filter sludge and found a tiny pebble that must have gotten mixed in with the ash. Kept the pebble. Felt weirdly significant.
Mixing Things Up & The Great Colour Hunt
'Conjunction' sounded suspiciously like getting back together after a fight. So, took my separated "essences" – the nasty filtered water and the pebble – and stuck 'em in a new jar together. Peering inside: pebble at the bottom, water looking sad. Didn't look very 'conjoined'. Shook it vigorously again. Still just water and a rock. Starting to feel like maybe this alchemy gig requires magic I don't have. Moved on feeling skeptical.
'Fermentation'... Okay, now we're talking! Something familiar! Thought of my disastrous kombucha experiment last year. Left the jar in a warm spot, hoping something would bubble. Nothing spectacular happened. Week later, the water looked kinda cloudy. Is that it? Could have just been dust settling. Patience wearing thin.
'Distillation' got my inner mad scientist buzzing. Set up two jars and a tube like in bad chem class movies. Carefully boiled the cloudy fermented water in one, tube leading to the other. Here's the kicker: the steam condensed, and dripped into the second jar. Clear water! The nasty junk stayed behind in the first jar. Felt like actual progress! Pure stuff! Eureka! (Well, maybe a small "heh").
- The Big Finish (Kinda)
- 'Coagulation'. Time to solidify that pure distilled water, right? Like making crystal? Froze it. Got a lump of ice. Tada? Felt a bit... anticlimactic. Didn't exactly feel like magical gold dust.
So, what's the real takeaway after this muddy, ashy, messy adventure?
- Don't take steps literally! You ain't physically making gold. It's a metaphor!
- Starts inside: That 'burning junk' step? More about mindset than magazines.
- Cycles & Patience: It ain't linear. Felt like going backwards sometimes.
- Seeing differently: That pebble? Maybe the value wasn't making something new, but recognizing what was already there.
- Metaphorical Gold: Probably just understanding yourself better. Less shiny, more useful.
This stuff is ancient symbolism folks, not a YouTube lifehack. Was it fun? Mostly messy. Useful? Surprisingly yes, once you stop trying to be a literal wizard. Gonna keep chewing on this, maybe less burning next time.
