Alright, so someone threw this term at me the other day – "spiritual alchemist." My first thought? Sounds like something you’d find in a dusty old book, probably next to a recipe for turning actual lead into gold, which, let’s be honest, we all know is a load of bunk.
But it got me thinking. Not about gold, I wish. My life at that point felt pretty… well, lead-like. Heavy, stuck, not shiny at all. I was going through a rough patch, you know? Work was a drag, felt like I was just going through the motions, and my mood was generally in the gutter. So, I figured, what the heck, let's see what this "spiritual alchemy" malarkey is all about. Couldn't make things worse, right?
So, I started digging around. Not literally, thankfully. Just poking around on the internet, reading bits and pieces. At first, I thought it was just another fancy way of saying "think positive." You know, slap a smile on, pretend everything’s fine, and magically your inner lead turns into spiritual gold. Yeah, tried that. It’s like putting lipstick on a pig. Still a pig.
So, What Did I Actually Do?
Then I stumbled on some stuff that made a bit more sense. It wasn't about pretending. It was more about, like, actually looking at the "lead" in your life, your own personal junk, and trying to… well, work with it. Not just paint it gold, but actually try to change it from the inside out. Sounds messy, and believe me, it was.
First, I had to figure out what my "lead" even was. That was an eye-opener. I made a bit of a list, not pretty:
- My quick temper – seriously, I could fly off the handle at the smallest thing.
- Fear of what others thought – spent way too much time worrying about that.
- My habit of putting things off until the last minute – classic me.
- A whole heap of old grudges I was still carting around. Heavy stuff.
Okay, so I had my pile of metaphorical lead. Now what? The "alchemy" part, from what I gathered, wasn't some magic spell. It was more about paying attention. When I felt that anger bubble up, instead of just letting it rip, I’d try to catch it. Just notice it. "Ah, there you are, Mr. Grumpy." Sounds daft, I know. But just acknowledging it was a start.
I tried journaling. Just writing down all the garbage in my head. No filter. Some days it was just a load of complaints. Other days, I’d actually stumble on why I was feeling a certain way. It was like sifting through mud to find a tiny pebble of understanding.
Then there was the actual "transmutation" bit. This wasn’t about making the anger or fear disappear. It was more about… changing my reaction to it. So, instead of lashing out when I got angry, I’d try to take a breath. Or if I was scared of doing something because I might fail, I’d try to do a tiny bit of it anyway. Most times I still felt the fear, but sometimes, just sometimes, doing it anyway made the fear a little less… loud.
It wasn’t a straight path. Oh boy, no. Some days I felt like I was making progress, like maybe a tiny fleck of that lead was looking a bit shinier. Other days, I’d fall flat on my face, react the same old way, and feel like a total failure. It’s not like you mix two chemicals and get gold. It’s more like… chipping away at a rock, hoping there’s something decent inside, and mostly just getting covered in dust.
So, what’s a spiritual alchemist to me, after all this fumbling around? It’s not some enlightened guru floating on a cloud. It’s just a regular person, like you or me, who’s decided to stop ignoring their own internal mess. It’s someone who’s brave enough to look at their own "lead" – their fears, their flaws, their baggage – and say, "Okay, this is part of me. Now, what can I do to make it a bit less… heavy? How can I transform it into something a bit more useful, a bit more… me?"
I’m no expert. I’m still covered in metaphorical dust, still chipping away. But I guess that’s the point. It’s a process, a really hands-on, sometimes frustrating, but ultimately kind of empowering practice. You’re taking the raw, crappy stuff of your inner life and trying to refine it. Not into actual gold, probably. But maybe into something a little more authentic, a little stronger, a little wiser. And that, for me, is what this whole spiritual alchemist thing has boiled down to in my own life.
