Okay so this Henry VIII tomb thing has been bugging me since that documentary showed his burial spot looking super basic. I mean, dude had six wives and started a whole new church but ends up in what looks like a broom closet? Wild. Grabbed my laptop around 10pm after the kids crashed and started rabbit-holing.
First Stop: Google & Old Books
Spent an hour googling stuff like "why Henry VIII grave looks cheap" while flipping through this dusty Tudor history book from college. Kept finding weird contradictions – some sources said St. George’s Chapel was temporary (spoiler: nope), others claimed he got robbed by Cromwell’s crew (half-true). Realized even Wikipedia’s tomb page had holes big enough to hide a whole coffin.
The Windsor Trip Clue
Remembered seeing a tiny stone slab during that Windsor trip back in 2019. Dug up my travel pics and boom – that sad little floor marker by the altar? That’s actually the royal burial vault. Blew my mind that nobody even marked it properly until 1837. Wrote that down as Detail #1: No fancy tombstone because Edward VI blew the budget on wars.
Calling My History Buff Friend
Texted Sarah who studied Reformation stuff. She goes "Uh his coffin leaked?!" Sent me this niche academic article about the vault opening in 1813. Workers reported seeing dried liquid around the coffin – probably leftover body goo from being three weeks dead before burial. Gross but fascinating. That became Detail #2: The burial was rushed and messed up.
The Jane Seymour Connection
Almost missed this while skimming letters between Henry’s courtiers. Kept seeing mentions of "the Queen’s vault." Turns out Jane Seymour (wife #3, only one who gave him a son) was buried first in that spot. Henry straight-up ordered his tomb built right beside hers. Poignant as hell. Detail #3: He literally requested eternal side-by-side placement.
Bronze Statues? Yeah Right
Found sketches for his planned tomb under "lost Tudor projects." Absolute madness – life-sized bronze angels, his carved statue on horses, the works. Then noticed this scribbled note in margins: "black marble sold to Earl of Arundel 1565." Realized they literally dismantled and pawned his tomb materials. Detail #4: The unfinished tomb got scavenged for parts.
The Weirdest Part
Reading this museum archive about royal coffins? Discovered he’s currently sandwiched between Jane Seymour and… random Queen Caroline. But get this – in 1837 they shoved little Queen Elizabeth I on top of Henry’s coffin during renovations. Like a messed up Tudor jigsaw puzzle. Detail #5: He shares space with wives and rivals forever.
Wrapped up around 2am completely mind-blown. The tomb’s crappiness isn’t just random – it’s like a physical summary of his whole reign. Selfish kids, blown cash, and relationships haunting him past death. Might take the kids back to Windsor just to stare at that floor tile differently now.
