So last week I got curious about votive candles after seeing this tiny, dusty one my grandma left behind. Grabbed it from the shelf and thought, "Heh, let's see what the fuss is actually about." Honestly? Felt kinda silly holding it at first. Just a small candle, right?
Giving it a Go
Decided to set it up on my old kitchen windowsill Tuesday evening. Wasn't fancy - used a chipped saucer as a holder. Lit the wick with a regular lighter. Pfft, little flame popped up. Just stood there watching it. Felt… quiet. Like the whole room slowed down a tick. Didn't pray or anything specific, just watched the flame dance. Weirdly calming after a stressful Zoom meeting. Kept it burning for maybe 15 minutes before blowing it out. Room smelled faintly of warm wax. Noticed I wasn't clenched anymore. Okay, interesting.
Trying Something More
Thursday morning I felt proper crummy - woke up anxious about bills. Thought "Eh, nothing to lose." Grabbed another little candle (bought a cheap pack this time), plonked it down same spot. Lit it. This time I did talk a bit. Just mumbled out loud stuff like "Man, this money stuff has me wrecked." and "Hope we catch a break soon." Focused real hard on just getting the worry out, y'know? Like mentally shoveling dirt. Held onto the warm saucer a bit.
- Got physical: That heat on my fingers? Surprisingly grounding.
- Flame focus: Stopped my thoughts racing in circles. Kinda like staring at a campfire.
- Saying it aloud: Felt less trapped just hearing the worry outside my head.
Burnt it while I made coffee. Maybe 20 mins? Blown it out, went about my day. The anxiety? Didn't vanish, nah. But it felt… quieter. Manageable. Like turning down a radio static blasting in your head.
What Actually Stuck
Done this maybe five times now? Small steps each time. Here's the raw take:
- It's Not Magic: Didn't fix my problems. Bills still exist. Life's still messy.
- But Calm? Yeah: That flame-forced stillness? Deeply physical pause button for panic attacks.
- Made Things Feel Less Locked In: Saying hopes or fears near that light made them feel more… movable? Less heavy stone, more shifting sand.
- Connection Hack (Kinda): Remembering Grandma lighting hers. Felt a thread to her, even if just mentally.
Final thought? Votives aren't some celestial phone. They're a simple, physical tool. Like a focusing lens for the mess in your head and heart. Light equals intention made physical. Staring at it forces your busy brain to just… pause. Touch the base? Physical anchor. It’s the act itself – the ritual – that kicks things off inside. Less about divine intervention, more about human focus and feeling seen in a small, warm light. Still figuring it out, but yeah, I get why people lean on 'em now. Simple action, quiet impact.
